Tears for Fears

I am ___?

Life too harsh for me lately. For the past couple of months, well I can say that I've been living somewhere between greatness and giving up. March, April and May have passed and I am still in the situation where I can find myself with lots of question marks in my head. Lots of questions and what I have now are unclear answers.

I really can't tell why but I am lost and confused. I need to find myself. I need to find my happiness. But where should I start? How should I start? And when is the right time to start?


I am afraid.

I fear that there would be no light to see at the end of the tunnel. I fear life will not offer me the life I always I wanted. I fear people's judgements. I fear loneliness and pain. I fear rejection. I fear fear. I know it's crazy but for a long time now, fear is the only thing I have. And fear doesn't make me any good.

Dear you who's reading this, I know you're also confused of what I am talking about. I know, I am too. I write because I want to express how I feel yet today I feel the person I don't want to become. Fear is changing my perspectives in life. Fear is slowly eating me. I know I am strong man, yet today I am readying my white flag. I might just wave it soon. And when I wave that flag, I don't know what I'll become.

Now I cry. I cry because my heart cries. I cry because my soul cries. I cry because my mind cries. I cry for my fears.

Dear God, when will I cry because of happiness?

Michael Foz
June 6, 2012 / 12:10AM