Dear God,
Hi!
Talking to you ain't new to me coz I talk to you every day and every
night. Tonight, I decided to write you a love letter for the first time.
I hope it reaches.
I was a bad kid.
As
a child I was selfish and rude. I didn't like people telling me to do
things I didn't like to do. I hate it when they make me feel bad about
my faults and my failures. I hated when they laugh at me or when they're
rude to me. I hate it when I didn't get things I wanted to have. I hate
it when things don't go my way. I've gotten the feeling that people are
too judgmental and inconsiderate. I have a lot of things to hate about
my environment. I was living in a bad world. I struggled as a kid. I was
not the son anyone would want to have.
But
amidst all these I have struggled to become different. I turned out to
be a good young man. I was not the loving kid, but I am learning to love
other people as I grow up. I was not the best, but I struggle to be
better. I was rude, but now I care. I have so much to hate, but now I
realized I have so much to love about and so many people to love. My
faith kept me intact.
I
believe I have a lot of things to be proud about. On top of my list is
that I am your child. I listen to your words and I get to talk to you in
my prayers and in my lone times. Secondly, because you gave me good
parents and a happy family. They didn't lose hope and didn't doubt that
that bad little kid would grow up to be good one day. Thirdly, you gave
me good people as friends, even if I am not perfect for them, they stay
and remain good to me. Fourthly, because you gave me values in life that
until now strengthens me when I am weak. And lastly, because I have
enough for myself, my family and the people who need me.
God,
when I doubted you tested me even more. You told me to just wait a
little more. When I was about to quit, you gave me a spark of hope. When
I felt I was alone, I have you beside me. And when I doubted myself,
you were the first to tell me to go on and believe. You were my wings
when I got tired of flying. You were my hands when I didn't have the
urge to write and to help. You were my feet when I didn't feel like
running. You were the best of me when I was the worst of me.
It's been 23
years now and the most important gift ever given to me by anyone is the
gift of life guided by you. And that alone I say THANK YOU.
And like love letters I end this letter with I LOVE YOU.
Michael Foz
June 18, 2012 10:10PM
I think I found happiness.
My big day was June 11, 2012. In my lost of drive to fight this battle called life, God lit my light again. It was not a tough decision at all, it was something I asked for. In my long three months of waiting for a nice job and exploring the world, I found my place
Yes dear all, I am now a Kapatid or from TV5. How did I get in? I have a good friend and a good track record. Hehe! I say it wasn't tough because I was with ABS-CBN for three years and during the months that I didn't have a show, nagisip-isip ako kung san ba ako nabibilang sa mundo. But I really prayed hard for something nice to happen to me. I tried a lot, I went corporate but It wasn't what my heart is telling me to do. So asked God if He could make something for me and in the right time, He gave what I've asked Him for.
I had a difficulty telling my friends coz they are all Kapamilyas. It was also difficult especially in twitter and facebook. In twitter majority of my 2000+ followers are fans of ABS-CBN artists. I was afraid of tweeting directly that I am now from TV5, I just tweeted the logo of Artista Academy, my show. I guess they'll understand what message I am conveying. And with facebook, I just posted this:
In my honest opinion ABSCBN is the best in the industry. The best bec
80% of television is Entertainment. News belongs to GMA7. TV5 is a poor
third but when great minds from ABS and GMA work w/ TV5, then the game
is on! It takes people to create a good network, not d other way around.
Stop questioning me why I transferred, kelangan ko lang magtrabaho. :)
I am serious about that post. I am a Kapamilya since I was a kid. I watch majority of their shows. And worked for them for 3 years. But I came to the point where I felt I was not appreciated. Not only me, majority feels the same. I was just different because I had the choice. It was now or never. And I wasn't afraid to say I quit. I am tough because I know I am able. And so I left. But I left with no bitterness because that company made me a better and intelligent media practitioner. I was just not happy about being there anymore. And I hope people who mind understands.
So cheers to courage! Cheers to changes and chances!
Michael Foz
June 13, 2012 11:40 PM
I am ___?
Life too harsh for me lately. For the past couple of months, well I can say that I've been living somewhere between greatness and giving up. March, April and May have passed and I am still in the situation where I can find myself with lots of question marks in my head. Lots of questions and what I have now are unclear answers.
I really can't tell why but I
am lost and confused. I need to find myself. I need to find my
happiness. But where should I start? How should I start? And when is the right time to start?
I am afraid.
I fear that there would be no light to see at the end of the tunnel. I fear life will not offer me the life I always I wanted. I fear people's judgements. I fear loneliness and pain. I fear rejection. I fear fear. I know it's crazy but for a long time now, fear is the only thing I have. And fear doesn't make me any good.
Dear you who's reading this, I know you're also confused of what I am talking about. I know, I am too. I write because I want to express how I feel yet today I feel the person I don't want to become. Fear is changing my perspectives in life. Fear is slowly eating me. I know I am strong man, yet today I am readying my white flag. I might just wave it soon. And when I wave that flag, I don't know what I'll become.
Now I cry. I cry because my heart cries. I cry because my soul cries. I cry because my mind cries. I cry for my fears.
Dear God, when will I cry because of happiness?
Michael Foz
June 6, 2012 / 12:10AM
(Photo Credit to Owner)
The Bottomline with Boy Abunda, my Saturday late night habit.
Tonight I find inspiration in Diosdado Banatao. The opening vtr for the show really didn't do justice to what their guest has achieved for decades now. As a viewer, and If I am not a fan of the show, would get my remote and switch channels. Like who the h*** is that man?! But fortunately, I am not that viewer. So it went on to his very brief profile. And one word made me watch him, "Cagayano". Wow! my kababayan.
So Diosdado Banatao is a Filipino billionaire based in the USA. He takes pride in being part of the Silicon Valley, I believe a hub for tech people in the very advanced technological world. He and his company develops hardwares and works hand in hand with the likes of once the World's Richest Man Bill Gates and had encounters with the famous Apple visionary Steve Jobs whom he regard by the way as "pain in the ass". Haha! He has his humble roots in Iguig Cagayan.
What was notable in the interview was his approach towards questions by the host. I can sense Boy Abunda was a little bit scared to throw questions. He should be, that person was like BIG so he'd better be careful. But fair enough, Tito Boy did his magic. He made him answer questions like "Lights on or lights off?" which he found himself lost and speechless for a while but answering a few. Thank God Tito Boy didn't ask the famous "Boxers or briefs?". But that would be interesting! Mr. Banatao was straight forward. He said he dislikes unions. He didn't answer questions like "How much are you worth?". He envisions a better world through quality education. He made political declarations, he is voting for Romney in the next elections. That man is "THE MAN".
I take inspiration in him because he was not the typical story of rugs to riches. He was poor coming from an infamous town in Cagayan maybe a lot of you may not have heard yet. But they were never deprived especially of food. He takes pride that his father is a farmer, in his words "Pag farmer laging may pagkain". He said he didn't celebrate birthdays because he wasn't comfortable with it. And this took me, his most memorable childhood memory, going to church alone and that's how he celebrated his birthday. Mr Banatao went to Mapua to finish college and eventually leaving the country for Standford University and making it big in the states. Not the typical rugs to riches story because since day one he believed he was "able".
I take pride that he's from my province. I didn't know about a Dado Banatao until a while ago. He inspires me that I am affected with what he is and did to become the man that he is today. He said he didn't dream. And I interpret it as He didn't dream because he was busy living. And that starts for me today. I will be "able" like he is.
I like to believe that he was infamous until an hour ago. Now we know that there is an admirable man in this world proud of his roots and has this vision and work for the Filipinos. I rally behind him for his vision of good education as the solution to end poverty. II hope everyone gets to be like him. As determined and as brave. I boast of him as my kababayan and this country's pride.
His characteristics I think is apparent in every successful man's story. Determined, Believes he is able, strong willed and lastly believes in his God.
Tito Boy leaves us with what Dada Banatao told him, "Only the paranoid survives". And I agree. Luckily I am both paranoid, infamous and poor. But I am determined, I stick to what I believe in and I believe in my God. Well I think the future's bright for me then.
Michael Foz
June 3, 2012 / 2:OOAM
